yes, i’ve posted her music before, my favourite laughing woman (allright, c has a great laugh, too. a huge one, that is). and although it has been a gorgeous cover, the music was just allright. so i thought i better post another record. a more interesting one. and to make the link: it includes a brecht/weill song, too. in general the songs are of quite a variety – in a nice and interesting way. and the cover isn’t too bad, either…

ripped with a smile from vinyl, you’ll get it here.

not enough with this, i have some more. this as a tribute to v and j (you might have a look here). thank you again. it has been very nice. and yes it might is (or seems) more for v – but then j got already my, well, a swiss heart, right? so, in rememberance to our talks, and yes, the bouzoukia, i thought i post the music to the movie never on sunday. the music, courtesy of manos hadjidakis, sounds still fresh to my ears. although i am not very familiar with popular greek music (eeer… not at all, actually) this record sounds to me like a rather unique take on it – exploring various moods, not only the upbeat ones a northerner like me usually associates this kind of music with.

and then it is a movie by jules dassin, starring…yes, melina mercouri. the synopsis presented of the back of the record is quite hilarious – see below. love the choice of words… and yes, the male main character is indeed called homer…

but i guess if one can pull such a story off, then it must be ms mercouri. yes, i haven’t seen the movie yet – but it is now on my list. and after all one can also read it as the fight of free commerce against exploiting commercialism (hey, i just try to be original). and at least i learned that the real truth lies in the joy of living.

never on sunday
ilya (melina mercouri), a beautiful young woman who sells her charms in the port of piraeus, firmly adheres to one principle – her customers must appeal to her. greek tragedy is her only weakness and annually she suspends operations during the festival season. the classic texts have a personal meaning for her, including a happy ending for the story of medea.
one day, homer (jules dassin), an american, arrives in piraeus in quest of truth. attracted by the music of the bouzoukia, he goes to a crowded tavern where ilya is dancing and singing with her friends. to homer, she personifies greece and he is convinced that her story will provide an explanation for the fall of the ancient civilization.
he decides to reform ilya and succeeds in persuading her to give up her lovers in order to achieve more profound joys. her decision to “retire” delights noface (alexis salomos), an entrepreneur who exploits all the other prostitutes and he offers to subsidize homer’s program because ilya’s independence has been a bad example for his girls.
ilya finds homer’s teachings tedious and often engages in nostalgic daydreams. nevertheless, she resists the familiar call of the ships coming into port.
one day her friend, despo (despo diamantidou), discloses the pact between homer and noface. bent on revenge, ilya launches a prostitute’s revolt, which includes a general strike.
then to celebrate her return to the profession, she rushes to the bouzoukia, where she finds homer still looking for truth. he is sulking and ilya’s friends gently poke fun at him. he loses his temper, threatens to fight one of them and then suddenly sheds his academic armour. he then decides to open his eyes to what life really is and joins the party – laughing, singing and dancing with the otheres.
before going back to the states, he has discovered in greece that the real truth lies in the joy of living.

so – a shout out to étretat – and for all interested in some greek joy of living, i ripped the record in two parts (side a / side b) from vinyl. get it here. and yes: enjoy!

ha! and you already thought that blog smelled funny, huh? well, it kind of did…

guess other priorities – although it hasn’t been that satisfying not to blog. so it is high time to put some effort into it again. and we will see where it brings us to. i will slowly get down to answer your comments and honour your requests (as already promised on previous occassions). it won’t be very fast, i’m afraid – something to do with, well, not having mucht time…

but then i haven’t been stopping finding nice music, reading nice books, and so on. and quite some stuff to complement previous posts.

so to kick it off again something to relate back to the various traces of brecht / weill – a little 10″ by ian mc culloch: september song. interesting is especially that on side a you get it pressed for 78 r.p.m. – and no, my gear isn’t that old. so what you hear is a record for 78 r.p.m. played on 45 r.p.m. but pitched up so that it sounds more or less right – just slower. and since me works low tech also rather metallic. i actally really like that version. on side aa you the get the long version of the september song – this time on the intended 45 r.p.m., and cockles and mussels. and of course ripped from vinyl for your aural pleasure. get it here. and enjoy.

and yes, this post has been originally planned for september (in case you were wondering).

so – i’m glad to be back. hope you are, too.

re: like re-up’s

yes, there has been quie some activity on here – rather hidden, admittedly.

a big THANK YOU to all the people taking the time to leave a comment. and thank you for providing me with more hildegard knef that i could ever dream of. and thank you for providing me with interesting new information on zarah leander - although it does expose my ignorance… but i guess that’s allright. and hey – contributions to the discussion are welcome!

then i re-upped by request der böse bub eugen

and i re-upped sein – and by relistening it, it hit me how good this record is. and how much it is linked to my last post – reminiscing, but not really nostalgic… great stuff. and yes, because i have been asked so nicely there is also a special bonus…

as usual: enjoy!

re – like… retracing, again…

more like trying to re-establish…

it is funny – not too long ago i have revisited amsterdam, again. a city that has been important in my life quite some years back – mostly due to gj, but then it was a good time for amsterdam, before the rise of berlin, when its easyness was at its peak, attracting all the interesting freaks and was definitly leading gay city…

and fast forward to 2009 – still beautiful – and sparkling. still a unique city, no doubt. but then it also has become such a european city, somehow gone the opposite way of johannesburg. gentrified, prettified and rather slick. it is strange how in that hard competition between cities all of them pretend to market their unique character, but just become more and more alike. forgetting in all the marketing frenzy that a city should may be first a place to live for its inhabitants?

but then it is silly to complain – i had long walks, was very happy to see gj doing very well ideed, d still going strong (but then i expect that from him) and finding – a new friend.. yes, it is not the city anymore where one goes alone with a suitcase full of party- and fetishgear. now it seems more a city for couples… long stroll along the grachten and all that…

it was just funny revisiting the old physical places – being amused about the smoking ban, and then visiting again argos, the remnants of a once flourishing harder gay scene, now sanitized, smoke free, well lit, not even the pinball machine is there anymore, but a big screen showing the obligatory porn irritatingly pretending to show hot hard sex. it brought memories back when it was dark, and smoky, and mysterious – but then i did change, too… what is just funny is that with smoke disappearing in most bars there are now slot machines – huh? slot machines? still don’t get it…

it was interesting since it suddenly seemed such a distance, giving many opportunities to remember… many days and especially many nights – but then i might not remember, eeer, everything. and maybe it is the ideal city to muse about the need for the gay community / communities to reinvent itself… but then this not necessarly city-specific, since i just have been at a fetish party in that other neat and slick european city, and i wonder when that scen became so aggressivly conservative in all aspects.. and all thsi ahas also been an occasion to ask oneself where one goes – and maybe first: how did i get here? yes, its’ always true that one hopes to travel and therfore to get away, but is thrown back even harder onto oneself.

what i find especially interesting is the that – and that introduces re. back into my musings: re: like re-surrection. yes, mister malenka started again the back in the days famous roxy hard nights. and so we can end my little musings with a musical trip back some years, when house music was still young…

so – below some rips of old cuts of the first series of roxy hard parties… enjoy!

roxy hard – amsterdam – the garden party – june 16 1992

roxy hard – amsterdam – some time some place – 1992

roxy hard – amsterdam – the pornograhpers – 1992

roxy hard – amsterdam – tatoo you, tatoo me – 1992

re: like re-visiting, re-tracing ones steps

it is funny how it sometimes comes together. my ongoing discussions with n about south africa back in the days, and him telling me about the former hotspot / place to be in johannesburg: hillbrow. then shortly after i stumble on tv over a bbc-documentary about: hillbrow. with a very nervous, stressed out reporter. well, for good reasons. one of the mindblowing scenes was when he asked a guy as to why they killed these police men “well, we wanted to sell their weapons”, which gets delivered so deadpan that i nearly had to laugh at the monstrosity of it all.

and then, forwarded through different email-accounts i have received the below email. i do not even know from whom it comes originally. it is a rather bitter retracing. a thank you to the unknown author.

and yes, i have been to johannesburg, and beside the incredible luxury, the gated communities and an amazing amount of really big fuck off cars you also find what you see below. the sick thing is that there is even worse: one has only to drive into cape town along shanti towns that seem to go on forever. and i guess the above cited little scene / sentence hit me so much because there it expresses a carelessness towards the human life which runs through society that is very scary. there were moments where it got surreal – i remember driving with n at night through downtown jo’burg and feeling transportet into a dystopian science fiction universe. i wasn’t afraid, beacuse somehow this could not be real… and this memory and looking at the below pictures reminded me strongly of the writing of j.g. ballard, who just passed away…

so let’s have a ride…

Bree Street , Johannesburg , Where Gold (Used) to Lie in the Street, Now, it’s Just Rubbish
Bree Street is one of the main thoroughfares running through the city centre of Johannesburg , from east to west. It runs right through the CBD, and used to be one of the major economic centers, as well as being a residential area.
Today, as you can see, it is a slum, another shattered, filthy, ruined monument to the “New South Africa .”

A Visit to Yeoville

Yeoville was one of the ‘trendiest’ places in Johannesburg . Its main thoroughfare, Rockey Street, was the place for a very late night out, and here one could find an eclectic mix of exotic shops, dining establishments, clubs and who knows what all else, if you really looked.
And today? Well, let’s let the pictures do the talking. My visit to Yeoville:

Corner of Raymond and Rocky Streets, Yeoville. This used to be quite a famous restaurant, I can’t recall its name offhand, but I am sure it was Mama’s.

Above: All that remains of the South Street cafe, Bellevue East, Yeoville. It’s still open, but I didn’t venture too close because of what appeared to be sewerage in the gutter, which really put me off a bit.

Above: The corner of Rockey and Bezuidenhout Streets, Yeoville. There used to be a late night takeway on this corner. It was a Kentucky Fried Chicken once upon a time as well.

Above: Looking down Bezuidenhout Street towards Rockey Street .

Above: A little further up Bezuidenhout Street …

Above: The BP Garage on the north corner of the major Rockey and Bezuidenhout Street intersection. One of two petrol stations in Rockey Road , both closed down due to being continuously robbed out of business. It was confirmed that the last owner of this petrol station was shot dead with an AK-47 during a robbery. The station was just abandoned, hence the pump’s pipes hang loosely there, normally BP would take their stuff away.

Above: A typical gutted house, corner of Muller and Bezuidenhout Streets. Even the roof has been stolen.

Above: Smashed apartments, Saunders Road Yeoville. Currently inhabited by squatters. The stench is unbelievable.

Above: Inhabited house, lower Rockey Street , towards Observatory. ALL of the houses here look like this. I recall that the chief photographer for Associated Press in 1990 telling me how happy he was to be buying a house here, and he looked at me all funny when I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea. Like all “good” liberals, he has probably since voted with his feet.

Above: Typical filthy apartment block, Pope Street .

Above: Street scene, Dunbar Street . Taken from my car while moving, as by now I had attracted attention and was being followed by an aggressive group of locals. It was time to leave Yeoville.
A Tour Through Hillbrow,

Above: Joel Street , Berea

Above: Apartments, Olivia Street , Berea

Above: Apartments, cnr Lily Ave and Olivia Street , Berea

Above: The ruins of the Sands Hotel, O’Reilly Street , Hillbrow

Above: The main entrance to the Sands Hotel, O’Reilly Street , Hillbrow — or rather should I say the ruins of the Sands Hotel main entrance.

Above: The ruins of the Mark Hotel , O’Reilly Road , Hillbrow. Incredible to think I actually stayed there while on holiday in 1984.

Above: A close-up of the ruins of the Mark Hotel , O’Reilly Road , Hillbrow.

Above: The main entrance to the old Hillbrow Squash Centre, Pretoria Street . The escalators have long since been smashed, and the one on the right is in such poor condition that it is dangerous, hence it has been blocked with an old car bonnet.

Above: Smashed block, claiming to be home to a High School, corner Pretoria and Quartz Streets.

Above: Parkview Apartment block, Lily Ave , Berea . Fairly typical state of the buildings in the suburb today. Inhabited.

Above: Burnt out and gutted apartments, Catherine Street , Hillbrow.

Above: Corner Soper and Catherine Roads, Hillbrow. Fairly typical street scene.

Above: A gutted and bricked up building, corner Claim and Kotze Streets, Hillbrow.

Above: A close-up of the bricked up Big Deals….

Above: The Nedbank Plaza and the ruins of the Cafe Zurich , formerly a great late night hangout which used to serve the most wonderful Black Forest cake… Pretoria Street , Hillbrow.

Above: The entrance to the Highpoint “shopping centre” on Pretoria Street , as it looks today. Note the very gutted building on the right. This seems to be a common pattern throughout the area.

Above: The Highpoint apartment block: back in the 1980s, it was the place to stay — if you had an apartment there, you really had arrived. Very popular with the rich students at Wits University , it was…

Above: Anyone remember buying records at the Hillbrow Record Centre, Pretoria Street , Hillbrow? Well you can’t anymore. It’s boarded and barred up, like many shops in the area.

Above: Street scene, Pretoria Road . Formerly one of the main shopping roads in Hillbrow. The mattresses and blankets are from locals who sleep in the streets.

Apartment dwellers, Claim Street , Joubert Park , central Johannesburg

Apartments, Berea , north eastern Johannesburg

The Rosa Hotel , Berea : boarded up and abandoned, but broken into by squatters and now occupied.
The Ruins of Johannesburg . . .

Above: Jeppe, east Johannesburg , inhabited houses

The View From the Gauteng Legislature Building
It’s a funny thing, the New South Africa . After taking over the old Johannesburg City Hall complex and turning it into the legislative assembly for the new ‘Gauteng’ province (essentially the old Witwatersrand region), presumably to make it pride of place for the province, they seemed to have forgotten what is all around them.. When one stands directly in front of the Legislature building, this is the view one has to the north (note the flagpoles!)

And below, a close-up of the view:

And below this is view one has to the east, or directly in front of you (the old Rissik Street Post Office. In 2003, the building, which has been empty since 1996, had its clock hands, bell and the entire copper dome stolen).

The Vanishing Impala
Oppenheimer Park , situated between President and Pritchard Streets, was a pleasant green spot in between the high rise commercial blocks of the old Johannesburg . Its central feature was a fountain, over which leapt a stunning piece of sculpture: a series of Impala, all linked. The statue was so marvelous that it was a tourist attraction in the official guides to Johannesburg . Here is what it looked like then:

By the late 1990s, Oppenheimer Park had been trashed by the New South Africa . Bits of the statue were stolen by being hack sawed off, probably to be sold as scrap metal. Finally, the inevitable happened, and the entire statue was stolen, hacked off its pedestal. On the pictures below, the original mountings can still be seen. The council has placed a table where the statues and fountain used to be.

yes, quite a trip. and yes, while i found it just spooky to see big parts of a town basically in ruins i guess it must be again different for someone who knew this toen before….

and no, i do not think it should be read as an excuse for “the old south africa”. and there is where my bitterness comes in: as many, i took to the streets and have been vocal against the apartheid regime. of course it wasn’t all that simple as i thought back then, but then it seemed like we were successfull (sweet, isn’t it): south africa was suddenly a place of hope: transition withouth war, maybe the most liberal and open constitution in the world – and a way to deal with its past in such an amazing way that still leaves me humble. much to learn from. and then of course the great man nelson mandela. south africa suddenly stood for a new world. a tolerant world where we all will live together.

yes, give me hope, joanna..

but then it now seems to go the way to many nations go: bored, sleeping politicans in the parliament more interested in picking their noses then in trying to solve any of the problems. wasn’t there a promise that we all become sisters and brothers – or more pragmatic: to provide housing and education to all?

but then it seems we all are satisfied – you know, it is now a democracy, and not apartheid anymore… well, that is when i get bitter. also toward myself. i am not taking to the streets anymore. even when i still believe that a society that allows that people live like shown above is a brutally careless society. but then we do not have a clear enemy anymore, and we woul maybe have to accuse the same ones that only 20 years ago we cheered…

no more international coalition of artists to demand that the promises given shall be fullfilled… but then it might became now apparent that the mayn facets of this country can hardly been fit in a catchy refrain. and yes, we have enough problems ourselves – crisis and all. but then did we not have already also our problems back then?

but then it is still a beautiful country with beautiful people – and weren’t there rumours that the inner city of jo’burg shall be re-developed again?

so, please, give me hope joanna…

well, it has been raining, and i just can’t make my mind up where to go on holidays (having for too long not been) and yes, looking on the net at hotel rooms is amazingly depressing (who ever came up with the idea that a room is gonna look better with a cheap print on the wall? if it already looks sad on a small pic, what does it then look when you are actually in the room?). but then, even if your problems are more serious then mine, i recommend some gentile music. friendly music. very good music. i do not mention them the first time on this blog, and my admiration has not waned: fat freddy’s drop – finest dub for your ears. and since i just found this nice little 10″ i though i post that for all the ones having problems with their holdidays or are just feeling blue or just really want that spring to arrive…

fat freddy’s drop – hope / bluey

and this is the occassion to thank again urbanology for posting their stuff in the first place – if you head over there, you’ll find some more. and then at archive.org you’ll find a live recording from paris… now let that smoke rise and just flow…flow…float away.

fat freddy’s drop online

yes, schpring is here – kind of. i am still not finding enough time to do blogging the way i want – yes, i am rather unhappy with the text part lately. i think for the time being i will loosen a little bit on the concept (what concept? i hear u say – but hey, there was a thread in all this posting – at least for me). i guess the next posts will be a couple of requests that are looong overdue – i just have to find the time to rip the stuff. and then some more music that has been pleasing my ear. at least there is hope that the coming months will loosen up a little bit work-wise – so i can finally use my brain for more and better text.

so – enough whining from my part. now you go out and enjoy spring!

…they say that the passage of time will cover the crime…

more political dance music – a record i was very much into back then, a record i still find very good today. one of the best breakbeat tracks i know is on this record, and one of my favourite starting lines: all men are equal in the hatred of each other…

musically it has for me been the missing link between sabres of paradise and leftfield. somehow more leftfield – just, hm, meatier – if that explains anything. but very strongly associated to sabres of paradise, since my flatmate back in the days had at the same time i was listening to the aloof a severe sabres of paradise phase. so – the music draws heavily from dub, is not afraid of real hard dancefloor stuff and does some downbeat in between – including a great singer. yep, nice record. very nice record. the aloof – cover the crime. lovingly ripped fom vinyl. get it here. and enjoy!

visit the aloof on myspace

we stay angry and political – and uneasy. but the uneasy-ness comes from somewhere else.

this might be the only reord that i did not buy because of the cover. not necessarely the frontcover everybody found very crass (and yes, it is crass). it was because of the back cover, explaining where the name for this musical project, mussolini headkick came from. the name refers to the body being hang up in milano, and that people took up the occassion to kick him – seemingly the most kicks went to his head. awful. just repeating atrocities. and while it might has been appropriate for people suffering under his regime, i always had the suspicion that the ones that cheered him on just a short while ago were now standing first in line, just to make sure that everybody got that they were actually not fascists. but then maybe not. since on a legendary night in milano some gay actually explained to me that the fascists were, you know, maybe totalitarian, but you know, soft. the nazis were the evil ones. yes, a legendary evening. i was for once shut up.

yes, although i liked mussolini headkick for its clear, aggressive political stance, it also seemed somewhat a little bit blurry in its stance – this very harsh, masculine music, this earnestness. and although i still appreciate the electronic body music of this period for being so decidedly unfunky (but definitly danceable), with mussolini headkick, like with quite a lot of ebm bands, i missed a certain humour – and i do find especially politics withouth humour rather grim. and therefore sometimes way too close to what you fight. and that one can be very funny and at the same time aggressivly political (and playing aggressive music) has been shown for example by the fantastic bérurier noir…

but then relistening to themes for violent retribution again these days i had to smile how not hard i do find the music.

but well, have a listen to mussolini headkick – themes for violent retribution for yourself. and no, that is not a rip from my old tape, it is a copy i found on the www – thanks to the original uploader!

salò or the 120 days of sodom – yes, the infamous movie by pier paolo pasolini.

to get it out of the way first: yes, it is a violent and partly rather gross movie, referring to certain acts. but it has been a long time since 1975, tarantino is mainstream, hardcore porn is easily acessible on the net, and c.s.i. is the favourite series of many.

so for me it appears rather strange that the police, respectively the politicians still dare to raid places showing this movie in public (and yes, there is also no german edition of that movie) – raiding the place for showing that movie, while just a block away movies like seven, reservoir dogs, saw, hostel, and so on are sold in numerous shops… that might be due to the combination of sex and violence in salò, and that the movie does not operate in any subcultural domaine, and that it is showing violence neiter stylized, nor glamourous – but i suspect it basically has to do that it is one of these movies that everybody has an opinion on, but hardly anybody watched.

i do recommend to watch it. it is an amazingly beautiful movie, visually. it is an extremly well made movie, too. and although it employs different strategies to build an emotional and visual distance, it is also a remarkably angry movie. and it is worlds apart from most contemporary movies celebrating violence in a very slick way.

pasolini took de sade and made his account of total sadism a political story. very directly through the titel: salò is the name of the second fascist repulic in italy, and the sadists are high ranking fascists. so while marquis de sade is rather some kind of intellectual experiment, distanced also through a setting in a time long gone, pasolini’s movie makes a direct reference to reality. to atrocities that did happen – atrocities that have gone way beyond what is shown in this movie. atrocities that are well documented, atrocities that still happen today here and there – a connection that makes this movie indeed rather severe. therfore the real perversion lies in trying to still ban this movie – but not spending any amount of energy to ban what the movie talks about happening.

and yes, this is where the anger of the movie is coming from: the onlookers. the opportunists, the ones participating, the ones not interfering. the movie is very explicit in denouncing this, and this is the moral question: why do we look on? just look on? this certainly has been the big question in europe after world war II, a question some people worked hard on, a question that is being avoided until today by others, by people screaming decadence and proclaim the death of society if there is a gay pride, or this movie shown, but did not even utter a whisper while people were tortured, abused, killed, right in front of their eyes – and even are up to today apologetic of what happened in these years. evil or just amazingly stupid? i don’t know.

the movie is structured in circles, reminding of the circles in dante’s hell, describing the descent into madness. but how is such madness possible? through a system that allows this: totalitarian, demanding subordination, and apparatus that delegates all responsability through this subordination everything into a system (“i just followed orders”). and then it hit me during seeing this movie: totalitarian, like softer versions of strictly hierarchical structured systems make you free. there is total freedom through absence of responsability. and yes, there is quite a lot of talking in this movie, and i’ve seen it in italian, and i’m sure i missed quite a bit, but i did not miss that sentence, when one of sadists is proclaiming that the fascists are the real anarchists. and yes, in a way it is true: you can be free, free of all responsability, just allow the system to take over all responsability for you and for the others – and if somebody else does not want that kind of freedom, you are a) certainly not responsible for this person, and b) this person actually endangers your freedom. whereas the political idea of anarchy dreams of a structural anarchy – something that would demand a lot of responsability from everyone – not only for himself, but also for everybody around him.

the problem with being free in a totalitarian system just seems to be that in these kind of systems freedom is only used in an amazingly stupid way. in the movie, especially in the sexually scenes, the brutality comes from the stupidity. one has all these possibilities and what you come up with is this? on the other hand it amplifies the horror for me: being in the hands of dumb people, that are able to delegate their responsability to a system and come up with really dumb , evil shit. yeah, the association to abu graib is an obvious one.

yes, also this is a quality of the pasolini’s movie: it shows sadistic violence not as an expression of a psychotic, deranged, but intelligent and fascinating mind: it shows that sadism is essentially stupid and unimaginative. and no, pasolini does not make it that easy: there are beautiful boys and girls, and the studs are obviously sexy (and obviously pasolini’s type). it’s a movie that shows us that there are circumstances that enables evil behaviour, circumstances that have something to do with our society and our behaviour. but it does also show us that it might be not possible to draw such clear lines as we wish, that there are desires running through that might undermine our righteous stance.

so yes, i really do recommend this movie. just look at it…

from the sexual animal to the machine of pleasure.

the idea that maximum pleasure needs maximum preparation: detailed planning, mucht time, and a huge amount of money. an idea that has been explored in sharpest detail and very consequential in the 120 days of sodom. yes, marquis de sade. i’m not really sure why him now and here – it is partly a coincidence, partly a re-awakened interest in the consequences of his thinking.

i might start with the fact that i’ve read justine at a very crisp age. which might have been a little bit early, and discussing it with n, it became apparant that reading de sade very early on did shape my view of sexuality – well, less my view on sexuality as such (i’m amazingly and frustratingly un-kinky, especially considering that i’ve read jean genet even earlier), but its not being set apart from our “normal lives”, it being just another space in our lives where our relationships with each other and with the world in general are re-enacted. yes, another way to love, to hate – or to ignore each other.

so i do not find the sexual explicitness and the crass sex acts in itself very shocking (yeah, that sounds very jaded), but the going to the extreme of the death of the other to fullfill ones desire. this total disregard of others, this being so extremly solitaire: me and my desire. yes, it might be that loneliness, expressed in radical sadism, that is truely shocking.

and then it is shocking that one keeps on reading, obviously fascinated. well, especially shocking for everybody trying to believe that all our desires are good, that they will only lead us to places of bliss – bliss together.

marquis de sade is exactly pitching these machines of pleasures against it – it is just absolutly breathtaking to present houserules of the kind like in 120 days of sodom. pitching it against the idea that sexuality and intimate relationships are somehow excempt from the nastyness of power games of daily life, of our social standing, our fears, our schemes and manipulations.

so reading marquis de sade is certainly disturbing, partly because of the above mentioned characteristics, and maybe even for a bigger part because one has to start asking oneself questions about his / her relationship to sexuality and one’s own desires. and in its denying moral in such a radical way it of course keeps on asking the question of morals: how much of the fullfilment of desires is limited for what reason? if we assume that fullfilling ones desires is basically an egotistical act – funny enough an egotism that has (for various reasons) be declared in the sexual arena as allright – if personal sexual fullfillment is the highest goal to engage for in sex – if everybody has a right to orgasm. yes, it suddenly gets grey here – and yes, i do see this as a great quality of de sade’s writing: it starts out as extreme, but the more one starts thinking about it, the more it certainly is exaggerated…or isn’t it…?

of course there is much more: aspects i did not mention, aspects i might be not aware of. but the writing of marquis de sade has been and still is for me a reference point – a moral reference point, reminding me for example not to believe that it is per se o.k. and has to be applauded when you kick someone out of your bed because he did not perform to your expectations. but of course you can also read him and just enjoy the kinkiness of it all.

120 days of sodom

and for my readers mastering the german tongue, rather ear, i have something special – a recording of a little excerpt of die 120 tage von sodom. read by the austrian actor walter kohut.

a record with somewhat strange linernotes – again, like also with a lot of print editions of his work – there is a slightly apologetic tone, first by stating how wrong krafft-ebing was to create the term “sadism” (yeah, he should have called it pilcherism), and then at the end it states that the ones only seeing the obscenity and atheism in his work stay on the surface and miss the philosophical implications of his work. sounds all a little bit defensive to me. and well, obviously de sade did not only want to write a philosophical traktat when writing the 120 days. so i invite you to also dive into the obscene…enjoy.

p.s. the second side of the record presents the gespräch eines sterbenden mit einem priester (conversation of a dying man with a priest) – but to the atheism we get in a later post. so when listening to this, see it as homework.

from the category too good not to share, here a little comment i found on a gay social network platform (yeah, virtual cruising) – it’s a comment on a guy’s profile. a nice looking guy. but then it looks like he doesn’t dig me. or maybe he is just tired of chilis…

Ce mec c’est de la bombe ! Super bonne queue et super bon cul aussi ! Derrière ce regard de tueur se cache une bête de sexe…et super poilu comme j’aime… B m’a réservé de trés bonnes surprises, ce mec en fait partie…

…erotic drawing by monsieur cocteau (yes, i would like an original one – if anybody has one lying around…), but also some, hm, erotic art, well, this is real authentic street art…

…and when i took the pic there was a little boy (with his daddy) who loved this drawing – his daddy did not look very happy – and me taking a picture seemed to value it even more (“this man takes a picture of it!”)…

because it has been mentioned in the book – and also on the record – of the previous post and because i not too long ago found the recording of simone signoret: jean cocteau’s la voix humaine.

a play for one actor – a phone call of a break up. yes, the telephone as a weapon. I guess at the time it must have been scandalous in its intimacy – and it is all in there: the misunderstandings, the jealousy, the anger, the begging, the not wanting tto believe, the blackmail, the attempts at normality, the cruelty and also the banality of it all – hm, the french were never afraid to also explore the less romantic sides of love, i guess…

listening to it it occured to me also (again) how much technology shapes our lives – and how it changed our understanding of the intimate. i did witness such a phonecall – with all the same stages – even with the same technical diffculties: as in cocteau’s play, the woman i heard got disconnected a couple of times, since we were traveling in a train… so yes, it is interesting to witness how these days, partly made possible through technology, how our private life did change…

so, for all those who are ready for some gritty-ness – or are into some drama, here it is. simone signoret – la voix humaine de jean cocteau. and yes, it is in french…

in the liner notes to the above record cocteau mentions that he wrote the piece for an actrice – or a cantatrice (singer). and yes, his fellow homosexual, the composer francis poulenc composed the music to the words. how that sounds? well, it sounds like this – sung by julia migenes with the orchestre nationla de france, conducted by george prêtre.

this post might does more explicitly bind music back to society, to history. and yes, it’s ms. knef as an example again. actress, singer – and writer. not only of good lyrics, for me in a rather french chanson tradition then in a german tradition. which is more a feeling then based on research. but somehow the attitude is…eeer…french. whatever that means. and then there is a french connection, too. but this is for later.

so – words. not only for songs, but ms. knef also wrote 2 books: an autobiography for half of her life, and a book about her having cancer. the first book, der geschenkte gaul, makes for a good read. there might be some difficulties regarding the mentioning of many names not very known anymore (well, if you did your homework on the last couple of posts, then many of them are not that unfamiliar), some names known. of course marlene plays a prominent role. but in a way i did not read it as hildegard kenf’s life story, but rather a life story. it is one testimonial about growing up in a totalitarian state, of just wanting to grow up, make a career, work what you enjoy. and the dry tone it is written in makes it a good read under this perspective. it is not apologetic, rather descriptive. and it leaves enough space to find ones own point of view. rather brechtian, right…

what fascinated me in this book, and that is why i do find stories like this important, is that i think i get a little bit a feel – or at least i start to see the huge distance to having grown up later, under very different circumstances. it is partly details that hit me: they haven’t been teached anything about german culture as we know it – either the writers and artist were jewish, or leftists, or suspect anyway…

of course there are also the more obvious differences, the tough experiences: her account about being bombed out – and again, ms knef is not playing for sympathy – it is more telling us what cards she got dealt… so a recommended read – not if you want to get a lot of gossip about stars, but if you want to read a story of a life in strange times that was already through these times an extraordinary life – but then also normal life – living it.

too lazy to read? well, listen to it. she actually recorded a reading of some of the excerpts – and yes, it is, read by hear, even more laconic. and it is a good selection – some harsh passages, some descriptive, and also some amusing anecdote about a not-greek, not-christian, not-jewish turtle…

just be aware: it is in german. otherwise you will have to buy the book (which has been translated in many languages).

hildegard kenf liest der geschenkte gaul - ripped from vinyl in four tracks, for each side one…

one artist ms knef only got to know pretty late (considering that i read his texts as a young teenager) is kurt tucholsky. and yes, she also recorded a record with his texts: most is pure text / reading, but there are also a handuful of songs on this record.

listening to it is interesting to note that tucholsky must have been a big influence on her writing lyrics…

well, have a listen for yourself. hildegard knef liest tucholsky you can get here.